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Who Gets the Dog? The Overlooked Heartache of Divorce

Divorce is hard—on everyone. You’re dividing property, sorting through finances, and dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions. But for many couples, there’s one question that catches them off guard: What happens to our pet?

You raised them together, shared vet bills, and maybe even argued over whether they can sleep on the bed. So when the relationship ends, deciding who keeps the dog (or cat, or parrot, or bunny) can feel just as emotionally wrenching as any custody battle. But here’s the kicker—the law doesn’t always see it that way.

Let’s take a closer look at how pets are handled in divorce settlements and what you can do to ensure their best interests—and yours—are protected.


Are Pets Considered Property in a Divorce?

This might sting a little: in most U.S. states, pets are still considered personal property, much like furniture, cars, or even your favorite blender. That means that in the eyes of the law, your beloved golden retriever might be treated the same as a coffee table.

However, the tide is slowly turning. Some states have started to acknowledge that pets are more than just property—they’re family.

States With Pet Custody Laws

As of 2025, a handful of states have passed laws requiring judges to consider the well-being of the pet when making custody decisions:

  • California (Cal. Fam. Code §2592.5)
  • Illinois (750 ILCS 5/503)
  • Alaska (AS 25.24.160)
  • New York (DRL §236)

These laws allow judges to treat pets more like children, evaluating things like:

  • Who has been the primary caregiver?
  • Who can provide the best environment?
  • Will the pet be alone all day with one party?

In these states, you might even see shared custody agreements or visitation schedules.

For everyone else? You’ll need to be proactive.


How Do Courts Decide Who Gets the Pet?

If you live in a state without specific pet custody laws, decisions are often based on ownership documentation and other practical considerations.

Factors Courts May Consider:

  • Whose name is on the adoption or purchase papers?
  • Who pays for food, grooming, and vet visits?
  • Was the pet a gift to one spouse?
  • Is there a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement mentioning the pet?

Some couples negotiate pet custody as part of the larger divorce settlement, using mediation or collaboration to work out an agreement without a judge.

Tip: If you’re going through a divorce, gather any documents showing your involvement in the pet’s care—receipts, vet records, training logs, and photos can all help support your claim.


Can You Share Custody of a Pet?

Absolutely, but it depends on your willingness—and your ex’s—to cooperate. Courts in states with pet custody laws may issue joint custody or visitation schedules. Even in states without such laws, couples can draft their own pet-sharing plans.

A Pet Parenting Plan Could Include:

  • Week-on/week-off schedules
  • Vet and grooming responsibilities
  • Holiday and travel arrangements
  • How to handle emergency medical decisions

Just keep in mind that enforcing these agreements can be tricky. Unless the court signs off, it’s more of a gentleman’s agreement than a legal order.


What If There Are Kids Involved?

Pets and kids often have a deep bond. In many cases, the court may favor placing the pet with the parent who has primary custody of the children. The idea is to preserve a sense of stability and emotional comfort during a difficult transition.

Still, this isn’t a guarantee, so it’s important to bring up the issue early in the process.


Real-World Example: A Dog Named Gigi

Let’s say you and your spouse adopted Gigi, a rescue pup, five years ago. You did most of the training and vet runs. She sleeps at your feet every night and has major separation anxiety.

When you split, your ex wants to keep her—but so do you.

In a state like California, you can petition the court to consider Gigi’s best interest. You might provide vet records, testimony from your dog walker, or even video evidence showing the bond between you two.

In a state without pet custody laws, things could be trickier. But strong documentation and a well-structured agreement might just give you the edge.


Protecting Your Pet Before Divorce Happens

No one likes to think about their marriage ending, but planning ahead can save a lot of heartache.

Consider:

  • Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements that outline pet custody.
  • Keeping clear ownership records.
  • Microchipping in your name.
  • Keeping receipts and vet documents.

Also, consider talking with a family law attorney who understands how to handle pet custody—especially if you live in a state without specific pet laws.


Final Thoughts: Pets Are Family, Too

In a divorce, so much is up in the air. But for many, the most heart-wrenching issue isn’t property or finances—it’s the future of a furry family member.

The good news? More courts are recognizing that pets matter. With preparation, legal guidance, and empathy, you can navigate this difficult issue with your pet’s best interest—and your own peace of mind—intact.


FAQs: Pets and Divorce

1. Can a prenup include pet custody?

Yes. A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can specify who gets the pet if the marriage ends. It’s one of the most effective ways to avoid future conflict.

2. Do courts ever split time with pets?

In some states, yes. Judges may order shared custody or visitation if it’s in the pet’s best interest. Otherwise, couples can agree on a schedule themselves.

3. What if my ex took the pet without my consent?

Depending on your state laws, this could be seen as theft or a civil matter. Consult an attorney to discuss your rights and potential legal action.

4. Can I get custody of a pet I didn’t legally adopt?

Possibly. Courts may look at who cared for the pet day-to-day, regardless of whose name is on the adoption papers. Documentation helps.

5. Are exotic pets treated differently?

Generally, no. But if a pet poses health or safety risks, the court may factor that into its decision.


Sources:

Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute

California Legislative Information

American Bar Association

Nolo Legal Encyclopedia

AVMA – Pet Ownership Stats



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